I WILL BE OKAY.

Hey Dad,

I wanted to write to you sooner, but I was afraid,

To express myself with years and years of so much pain,

I tried to write you a song, but the words were never enough,

The words would disappear it was always so rough,

To connect with you again because you were no longer next to me,

I wish I could go back, I really loved you, but I wanted you to be free,

I wanted you to stay, but the world took you away,

My life was beginning to change, I was in such disarray.

Now I am getting older and the feeling is still the same,

That you are still gone and I’m worried I’ll forget your name,

I wish you had more time so we could have more memories to share,

And to be the loving father that always seemed to care,

It’s true, I’ll admit it I don’t always share how I feel,

I am shy and I am quiet and I needed time to heal,

But enough about me, I wanted to ask you,

How is it up in the sky? We miss you, don’t you miss us too?

I miss you more each day and I wish you were here,

I miss your smile, I miss your laugh, I always shed a tear,

I want you to know that I’m okay, that I am learning and growing each day,

I’m not perfect, I’m more imperfect but what more can I say,

I feel you with me, I start to feel numb, I feel so empty with each morning dawn,

But I continue to live because I want your spirit to carry on,

And although time passes and the memories start to fade,

I know deep down inside of me you will always remain.

I recently read an excerpt from the 2010 diary… the year you went away,

Overwhelmed with emotion right around my 21st birthday,

Years passed by and I never really understood why,

I tried to picture how we would say goodbye,

We were only told a puzzle piece of what you had,

So how could we have known that in reality, it was really bad,

Worse actually, but she already knew the case,

We were so young and we had to find a new path to chase.

I wish she told us sooner, I never really got the chance,

To know you, to really know you, and to have our last dance,

So please feel free to visit us, please don’t let us go,

Come and visit all of the people you used to know,

You were brave and so young all at the same time,

I should probably wrap up this ridiculous rhyme,

Words are never enough, but at least it’s a start,

A way to reach out to you so we are never apart,

I want you to believe me when I say,

I will be okay, I will find a way.